i am your canadian boyfriend

Photo

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:39:13 -0500

I’m hungry.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 14:14:07 -0500

I’m hungry.

I have no idea who could play me in the movie of my life.

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 10:58:39 -0500

I have no idea who could play me in the movie of my life.

An effete snob

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:24:00 -0500

In theatre school, we did the musical Working, based on the book by Studs Terkel. The book was based on his interviews with people about their jobs. Just regular people with regular jobs.

Near the end of the show, there’s a real tear-jerker of a number called “Fathers and Sons”. (Seriously — if your father was in the audience that night? Boom. Waterworks. Every single guy in the show lost it at least once. It was like living through the final five minutes of “Field of Dreams”. In song.) One of the characters is a construction worker and has a short monologue in the middle of the song where he talks about how he wants his son to not have to work with his hands, he wants him to be able to go to the best schools, he wants him to be able to have everything he could never have. He sums it all up with the line “I want my son to be an effete snob”.

I’ve always loved that phrase. “An effete snob”. And I loved that idea that it was something to aspire to. That if you were lucky, you could have everything you really needed and so much more, to the point you could live a life where you have the freedom to develop highly-cultivated opinions on things that ultimately don’t matter to your day-to-day survival.

From time to time, I like to recognize the fact I am, in effect, an effete snob. And that a lot of the stuff I care about doesn’t matter. And that it’s awesome I’m living a life where I can care about it.

We can have sex when we're dead

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:44:34 -0500

Wife: “If they bury us in the same grave, then the worms and larvae that eat our bodies will probably have sex together.”
Me: “So that’s what I have to look forward to? Larvae sex over our decomposing bodies?”
Wife: “It’s better than nothing.”

Feel better.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:03:11 -0500

Feel better.

Our hand soap looks… wrong.

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:09:47 -0500

Our hand soap looks… wrong.

"Man, I’ve only had one flying dream, one Spider-Man dream (in which I hung out most of the time on..."

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:01:06 -0500

“Man, I’ve only had one flying dream, one Spider-Man dream (in which I hung out most of the time on the side of a barn. Ugh, what a waste.), and like a thousand hobbit traveling dreams.”

- Mike Minnick

Superhero Dreams

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 09:59:01 -0500

Last night I dreamt I was Hawkman. I was in an industrial warehouse with the rest of the Justice League and we were trying to stop a plot to destroy the world. Everyone split up and I was left alone. I could feel my face tighten into a grimace as I thought of what the world was facing. I walked over to an open window and looked down. I was about six stories up.

And then it hit me. I’m Hawkman. I’m really Hawkman.

I have wings.

And I dove out of the window so fast and started to fall and then I flexed my wings — I could actually feel wings in my back that were a part of me — and I pushed down against the air and then I started to fly. And I flew down streets and swooped up and over power lines and shot down alleyways and people pointed at me and said, “Hey, it’s Hawkman!”

I kind of forgot about the whole saving-the-world thing.

The line up for wedgies starts here, no shoving, everyone gets a...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 11:12:00 -0500

The line up for wedgies starts here, no shoving, everyone gets a turn.

Imagine Beth and I were going to New York City. On May 18. For...

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 10:03:41 -0500

Imagine Beth and I were going to New York City. On May 18. For three nights and two days. Imagine we had never been to New York City. Imagine we want to see quintessential New York sights, eat quintessential New York foods, experience quintessential New York experiences.

What should we do?

fireland: Couple weeks ago I wrote a tweet about eating expired...

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 21:20:04 -0500

fireland:

Couple weeks ago I wrote a tweet about eating expired ham which blossomed into a series of vignettes describing the horrific psychosexual aftermath.

I figured I’d see #expiredham trending globally with everyone sharing their expired ham stories but the internet refused to play ball as usual.

But then my friend Jason drew this for my birthday. Because Jason GETS IT.

I’m also boyish handsome.

Welp, I’m going to Hell.

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 12:56:40 -0500

Welp, I’m going to Hell.

adtothebone: The Muppets vs. Fox News

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 22:05:57 -0500

adtothebone:

The Muppets vs. Fox News

Sunday night

Sun, 29 Jan 2012 19:39:07 -0500

Wife: [Hugs me] "I don't know why I'm feeling so affectionate right now."
Me: "Did you take ecstasy?"

damselesque: Caturday has taken a turn for the weird.

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 20:34:24 -0500

damselesque:

Caturday has taken a turn for the weird.

We’re having a busy day.

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 14:44:03 -0500

[Flash 10 is required to watch video.]

We’re having a busy day.

You know what day it is.

Sat, 28 Jan 2012 13:41:56 -0500

You know what day it is.

Celebrating Australia Day.

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 16:39:43 -0500

Celebrating Australia Day.

I’m an idiot.

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 11:59:00 -0500

I’m an idiot.