45 Notes
the rules of the game
Fence: “Ok. The game is simple.”
Gerry: “Pimple.”
Fence: “Stop that. We all put our cards in the hat.”
Brian: “Not that hat.”
Fence: “What?”
Brian: “Not that hat. That’s Gerry’s hat. Gerry’s got funky hair.”
Gerry: “Shut up!”
Brian: “You do! Your hair’s funky!”
Gerry: “It’s not funky! I wash it every day! I just have an oily scalp. It’s because I’m one-sixteenth Indian.”
Fence: “Fine! We’ll put our hats in… this box. Is this box acceptable?”
Brian: “What type of box is it?”
Fence: “What?”
Brian: “What item or items did the box originally contain?”
Fence: “It’s… a candle box. It held candles.”
Brian: “Scented candles?”
Fence: “No.”
Brian: “Ok. Candle box is fine.”
Fence: “Fine. We all put our cards in this box.”
Gerry: “What card?”
Fence: “The one sitting in front of you.”
Gerry: “I don’t have a card.”
Fence: “It’s under your drink.”
Gerry: “This is a coaster.”
Fence: “No, you tore your coaster up two hours ago. That is your card.”
Gerry: “Oh. Well, I want a new card.”
Fence: “What?”
Gerry: “I want a new card. Everyone’s gonna know which card is mine because it’s wet.”
Brian: “Well, that’s not fair at all.”
Gerry: “Huh?”
Brian: “That’s not fair. You probably looked at your card when we weren’t looking. You probably just want to get a new card because you have a bad card.”
Gerry: “I did NOT look at my card!”
Brian: “Bad card!”
Fence: “Stop!”
Brian: “Bad card!”
Fence: “Stop! Listen! You? You’re an idiot. You? How can he have a bad card when I haven’t explained what the rules are?”
Brian: “Well… some cards are bad no matter what.”
Fence: “What?”
Brian: “Yeah, some cards are just no good no matter what the game. Like… a three. Threes are bad.”
Gerry: “Threes are bad?”
Brian: “Yes. Threes are always bad. Never had a good experience with a three.”
Fence: “I was wrong. You’re both idiots.”
Gerry: “I need a new card.”
Fence: “Why?”
Gerry: “I ripped this one up.”
Fence: “What?”
Gerry: “I thought it was a coaster.”
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thebarmaiden reblogged this from atsween and added:
exactly what happens...have conversations
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