January 2011
43 posts
Queen Lindstifa: The Sweeneys are coming to town... →
lindstifa:
Hey Chicago(ish)igans,
We’ll be at Jack’s Bar & Grill/404 Wine Bar at 2856 N. Southport for food and drinks starting at 6:00 this coming Saturday (Feb 5).
Jack’s is pretty special in that it is half wine bar & half sports bar. Guess where Beth and I will be! Just kidding, there are huge tables on the Jack’s side so we can all be together (no touching!) and you can ...
Twitter Friends
Whenever I tell someone I’ve met people in real life that I met through Twitter and Tumblr, they usually say, “Why?”
The assumption is people you meet on the Internet are sexual predators or stunted man-boys living in their parents’ basements.
(And we are. But I digress.)
The funny thing about this whole Twitter/Tumblr thing is that it is a funny thing. The community...
Internet Suckers in Chicago!
If you are interested in either being grifted or sexually manhandled by myself or my lovely wife while in the city of Chicago, then pencil in the date of Saturday February 5th!
We will be in your fair city again for almost a week and ready to abuse whatever trust and goodwill we have cultivated while swindling our way into your hearts!
Also? Drinking!
The Porter Airlines departure lounge is now out of...
I am in the Porter Airlines departure lounge...
Chicago-Bound Again
I will be coming into Chicago Sunday night (Jan 23) and leaving Thursday evening (Jan 27). Alas, my lovely wife will not be joining me this time.
So, if you are one of the two or three people that would actually like to see me and not just her, drop me a line.
Leo
I go to the bank and line up to see a teller. I’m next up, so I take a look to see which teller is going to be wrapping up soonest. My money’s on late 50s Asian guy in the light brown mock turtleneck.
As I watch, he pauses while counting out cash and raises his left arm to let a gold watch with a too-large strap slide down his wrist and in a rush his whole life story unfurls in my...
You Should Be Getting Me a Drink Now: I'd make a... →
damselesque:
Growing up, I was not allowed to be sick or in pain. It was a sign of weakness. For some reason, my parents never believed I was sick, even when I was. Granted, I did pretend to be sick once or twice to get out of going to school, but that was not a habit. And I’m sure most kids do that. Now as an adult, I look at people complaining of a cold as wimps and complainers. I think...
On Aging
Wife: "Getting older for guys is no big deal. They just get better with age. Women just get old."
Me: "You're getting better every year."
Wife: "Thank you, but I'm probably peaking. It's all downhill from here."
Me: "Well, then I'll ride you like a toboggan."
Hats
The guy who sits next to me wears a yarmulke.
This was not important to me.
Until I heard him say, “On this project, I wear two hats.”
And I now I picture him whipping off his yarmulke, revealing a smaller, meaner yarmulke underneath.
True Story
Currently watching a Canadian television show. One of the characters is shooting a gun. Every time they fire it, they say, “Sorry!”
BANG! “Sorry!”
BANG! “Sorry!”
BANG! “Sorry!”
The worst part about stereotypes is when they’re true.
~{ Trelvix }~: A glimpse into my process →
trelvix:
I need to be on a plane in six hours. Wheels up six hours and fifteen minutes from now. Naturally I’ve chosen to sit awake and to write an alternate ending for the “Toes To The Rescue” juggernaut because it just felt like it was missing something.
“What are you doing down there? You’re scaring the cats. Are you really singing about toes? Are you sure you’re okay? Do I need to call ...
Watchfancycwabs:
The first major internet hit of 2011. Also, proof that I have a LONG way to go on the mandolin.
Is this now a thing? I think it’s a thing.
Watch“Toes to the Rescue!”
1 tag
Sunday Night
Wife: "I'm obsessed with your feet tonight."
Me: "Why?"
Wife: "Because they're wrong."
“You know what we call gay marriage in Canada? Marriage.”
– some guy I met the other night at a bar (via girl-detective)
SeoulBrother: "Nigger" →
seoulbrother:
It’s that time of year again where we discuss the word “nigger.” Seems like it was just yesterday when Oprah popularized the daytime-TV-safe “n-word”—I’m surprised that it didn’t make Word of the Year, but then again, I’m not. No matter how much you try to sugarcoat it, “nigger” makes people uncomfortable. This time the discussion is pegged to NewSouth Books’ “nigger”-free version...
2 tags
Impromptu Chicago Shindig
For those in the Chicago area tomorrow night (Wednesday January 5th) and interested in hanging out with my beautiful wife and I — or just watching the pure maple syrup leak from our teats — the charming and alluring Lindstifa has made a reservation for 8pm tomorrow night at Theory (9 West Hubbard Street).
Be there or BE FORCED TO STAY HOME AND WATCH CRIMINAL MINDS.
IT’S A...
Impromptu Chicago Shindig
For those in the Chicago area tomorrow night (Wednesday January 5th) and interested in hanging out with my beautiful wife and I — or just watching the pure maple syrup leak from our teats — the charming and alluring Lindstifa has made a reservation for 8pm tomorrow night at Theory (9 West Hubbard Street).
Be there or BE FORCED TO STAY HOME AND WATCH CRIMINAL MINDS.
IT’S A...
Chicago Folk
Anyone interested in hanging out with my lovely wife and I on this Wednesday night, we will be in your city.
1 tag
Jeff Bridges
Today we saw True Grit and Tron: Legacy and now I’m all tuckered out so Jeff Bridges is going to tuck me into bed now with my Jeff Bridges action figure and I will dream a dream of Jeff Bridges comforted in the knowledge that Jeff Bridges is out there in the dark keeping us safe.