January 2011
43 posts
Watching "Rome"
Me: "So you're saying I'm Pullo and you're Vorenus."
Wife: "Yes."
Me: "Just like I'm Ernie and you're Bert."
Wife: "I hate you."
December 2010
58 posts
“The film’s title comes from the nickname invented by students and staff...”
– The Breakfast Club (1985) - Trivia
(Oh thank god. Seriously — not knowing that has annoyed me for years.)
“The film’s title comes from the nickname invented by students and staff...”
– The Breakfast Club (1985) - Trivia
(Oh thank god. Seriously — not knowing that has annoyed me for years.)
Love
Wife: “I wanted to save you a Coke, so I’ve been cutting my Coke with water.”
The Recital
Carl feels where the cheap cotton has pilled on his shirt and thinks of the recital years ago.
His father had promised he would be there. Twice he had promised. Once while they pulled into the rear parking lot of the Glades Mall, back by the propane tank, REO Speedwagon on the radio. The second time was at home, standing in front of the bathroom, his father fanning the door, the air heavy with...
The Recital
Carl feels where the cheap cotton has pilled on his shirt and thinks of the recital years ago.
His father had promised he would be there. Twice he had promised. Once while they pulled into the rear parking lot of the Glades Mall, back by the propane tank, REO Speedwagon on the radio. The second time was at home, standing in front of the bathroom, his father fanning the door, the air heavy with...
1 tag
Thinking about having a beer.
Mainly to see if I can give my wife the dry heaves.
3 tags
3 tags
My wife eats her custard tart slowly, taking tiny...
The moral of the story?
I have trained our cat to steal tarts.
4 tags
4 tags
Sunday Morning
Wife: "I'll clean tomorrow after my interview."
Me: "Well, you'll either clean or drink."
Wife: "Oh, I can do both. I'm very inept at drinking and cleaning."
Me: "Hee-hee."
Wife: "What?"
Me: "You said 'inept' instead of 'adept'."
Wife: "That's what I meant. I have an excellent command of the Engish language. English. I have to poop."
“This is a stupid movie.”
– My wife, at the end of Seabiscuit, with tears in her eyes.
If you plan on (1) dressing a mouse like a tiny...
I’ve been in this crawlspace for an hour and I actually think the evil stepfather is doing a fairly competent job of running the kingdom.
If you plan on (1) dressing a mouse like a tiny...
I’ve been in this crawlspace for an hour and I actually think the evil stepfather is doing a fairly competent job of running the kingdom.
Dear Movie Spies
When installing a covert listening device, why do you always use one with a BLINKING RED LIGHT? DON’T ACT LIKE YOU CAN’T SEE IT. IT’S RIGHT THERE. BLINKING. DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT “COVERT” MEANS? IF NOT, I CAN LOOK IT UP FOR YOU. I HAVE A DICTIONARY RIGHT HERE. DON’T BE EMBARRASSED. I HAVE TO LOOK UP LOTS OF WORDS.
1 tag
2 tags
First thought after achieving Inbox Zero
“Maybe nobody likes me.”
From the Mission Logs of Apollo 13
Jim Lovell (CDR): “Hello, Houston; Apollo 13.” Joe Kerwin (CAPCOM): “13, Houston. Go ahead.” Jim Lovell (CDR): “Just a passing comment, Joe. We’re having lunch right now, and I just made myself a hotdog sandwich with catsup. Very tasty and almost unheard of in the old days.” Joe Kerwin (CAPCOM): “That’s correct, 13. As I recall the flight plan,...
1 tag
The next day
Wife: "I was really stressed out yesterday and it turns out I was also PMSing. It was a perfect storm."
Me: "Who was I -- George Clooney or Mark Wahlberg?"
Wife: "You were the boat, Jason. You were the boat."
1 tag
As he based his alter ego on his greatest fear,...
his grandmother
intimacy
lazy eyes
British cuisine
older men in Speedos
flossing
undercooked chicken
director of “Saturday Night Fever” John Badham
vaginas
failure
1 tag
