September 2009
81 posts
August 2009
133 posts
3 tags
1 tag
How many people realize that when you delete a...
Twitter sees what you did. Twitter doesn’t forget.
5 tags
There is nothing like mocking orphans to cleanse...
I know I haven't done this since I was eight...
… but I just realized I can no longer say “My dad can beat up your dad.”
The other day I was feeling butt-hurt, but then I...
Wife's been on Twitter too long. She calls me...
the rules of the game
Fence: “Ok. The game is simple.”
Gerry: “Pimple.”
Fence: “Stop that. We all put our cards in the hat.”
Brian: “Not that hat.”
Fence: “What?”
Brian: “Not that hat. That’s Gerry’s hat. Gerry’s got funky hair.”
Gerry: “Shut up!”
Brian: “You do! Your hair’s funky!”
Gerry:...
When they come for me, the stated reason will be...
232
He could actually see progress. What had seemed to be an impossible task five hours ago now merely looked long, back-breaking, and tedious. But very possible. Which meant it was a perfect time for a break. Richard sat on the low wall. He looked down on his now-filthy undershirt, found a moderately less filthy spot, and wiped the sweat from his eyes.
A Coke. A Coke would be good, Richard thought....
2 tags
Holy crap.
In less than a month I’ll be 38.
Get off my lawn.
HURRICANE BILL IS HITTING US TODAY. S'OKAY. IT'S...
Happy Birthday, Dad.
Thank you for always letting me know you were proud of me.
Thank you for always encouraging me.
Thank you for always suggesting we get cookies.
Thank you for always reading when I was growing up.
Thank you for always enjoying your life.
Thank you for making me.
I miss you.
WatchDid You Know? (Part 9)
In which I reveal a trade secret of the Elizabethan theatre.
highlights of my wife's first week on twitter
Peeing in the snow!
Vacationing with Nazis!
She has a vagina!
The murder of a husband by his wife!
Chewbacca penis!
Dog the Bounty Hunter in skorts!
Mungo the Tapeworm!.
Teehee! Satan!
So proud…
No, I’m not crying. I just have something in my eye.
@damselesque. Get in on the ground floor, folks,.
sickening iPod engraving
At the end of emails to my wife, I used to sign off “I love you, me”.
This got shortened to “luvume”*.
For her birthday last year, I got her an iPod with “luvume” engraved on the back.
You may commence being nauseated.
…
* Sometimes, I replace “luvume” with “lubume”**.
…
** I sicken me too.
The Kids in the Hall reunite for a murder-mystery... →
Just imagine how much fun Harper’s Island could have been if it had been written by and starred The Kids in the Hall. If you live in Canada, you don’t have to imagine it, because the Kids are creating just that. Death Comes to Town is to be an eight-part comedy where the Kids (Scott Thompson, Dave Foley, Mark McKinney, Bruce McCulloch and Kevin McDonald) will each play multiple roles,...
On being nice
angelablack:
My daughter is a smart girl. I was a little spring-in-my-steppy one day when I read a post from @muchty that said him and @davegorum agreed that I am the nicest twitterer of all. Now hey, I am the first to point in other directions when someone says stuff like that … but that day … it meant a lot and it couldn’t have come from two nicer people so I took it gladly.
My daughter asked...
Have I mentioned how much boyish glee I feel...
ONE OF US. ONE OF US.
“OH, VIA KOTTKE? REALLY? REALLY? OH THAT’S INTERESTING SINCE I POSTED THE SAME...”
– Fun Size Bytes
Pfft. No one watches videos on Tumblr.
Your argument is invalid.
