June 2009
74 posts
Deep Impact is on tv again. Which means -- of...
Even though I want to punch Leelee Sobieski in the face.
Again.
May 2009
180 posts
Any suggestions on what my lovely wife could do to...
Words Used by News Organizations to to Describe...
Conceited
Spoiled
High maintenance
Rich
Vain
Bad
Stuck-up
Awesome*
* I get most of my news from my wife.
Heard Far Too Often
“It’s so much easier to do X [where X is a job servicing Y] when we don’t have to deal with Y [a subset of humanity].”
2 tags
I just fell asleep sitting in front of the...
People... when you find out I'm just a marketing...
I just had a cheeseburger and I gave each of the...
Which would be bad.
“If I hadn’t seen such riches,
I could live with being poor.”
– James - “Sit Down”
Ultimate Over for Sween for Today
Pulled hamstring.
Boo.
Still Playing Ultimate
Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow.
Some days, ibuprofen is not enough.
Last game coming up.
Ow.
Playing Ultimate
One-day tourney. Have already played two games — one win, one loss.
And in my continuing effort to celebrate my victories, may I just say that I’m playing pretty awesome today?
And I am peeing Gatorade.
“In a way, each of us has an El Guapo to face. For some, shyness might be their...”
– Lucky Day
I need to face my El Guapo.
On owning it.
frageelaytwit:
It’s okay to be proud of your work, whatever that work may be. Well, maybe not killing prostitutes or running over squirrels, but let’s just say you’re nominated for a comedy award for the funny things you say on Twitter.
It’s good to be proud of that. It’s even good to promote it.
I do get this. It’s just hard. I really hate promoting myself. It’s one of the major...
I apologize for the public self-loathing. Just...
OK. What form of self-flagellation should Jason...
I feel very dirty and I need to be punished.
This cream soda is not washing the taste of...
“Oh my gosh I didn’t mean to knock you off your tricycle! Here, let me hold...”
– Joshua Green Allen
And this is why Fireland should have nice things (even though he’d probably sell them for meth).
“I’ll grant you, Teacher Susie from Sid the Science Kid is *totally*...”
– hotdogsladies
And this is why Merlin Mann should have nice things.
“Question: what wine would you pair with Dante’s Sixth Circle of Hell? I...”
– Scott Simpson
This is why Scott Simpson should have nice things.
2009 Aspen Rooftop Comedy Festival Awards →
[Begin suppression of self-pimp gag reflex.]
Best Comedy Twitter
Awarded by the Rooftop Comedy Academy to the best and funniest Twitter users. Votes will be accepted on Twitter from 5/26 noon PDT through 6/1 noon PDT. Vote for your favorite by tweeting their name to @RooftopComedy!
Nominees:
Paul F. Tompkins - (PFTompkins)
Aziz Ansari - (azizansari)
Doug Benson - (DougBenson)
John...
“Forgive me, El Guapo. I know that I, Jefe, do not have your superior intellect...”
– Jefe
Gangsta
essdogg:
justfantastic:
seoulbrother:
Help fill out this list.
Menace II Society
Once Were Warriors
City of God
Romper Stomper
A Clockwork Orange
Sucker Free City
Juice
Goodfellas
Boyz n the Hood
Discuss.
New Jack City
Romeo and Juliet
Hoodlum
Casino
Clockers
West Side Story
American History X
187
Sleepers
The Departed
Infernal Affairs
Hard Boiled
American Gangster
...
O HAI I MADE YOU A STYLE GUIDE BUT I EATED IT
Properly applied spit-up can soothe butt-hurt.
Or so I’ve heard.
Harumph...
angelablack:
That pictorial threatdown would have worked better if Luckyshirt actually followed me. Stupid internet.
Luckyyyy… Get on this.
