March 2009
103 posts
“Rule #1: A robot must not, through action or inaction, talk about Fight Club.”
– cleversimon
I’m sorry, but if you consider yourself in anyway versed in Geek Lore, then this should have made you pee.
giromide:
Happy Pewpewsday!
Is this still a...
your mom
One of these days you’re going to make a “YOUR MOM!” joke to your friend online and then you’re actually going to meet your friend’s mom and you and your friend’s mom are really going to hit it off and you and your friend’s mom will go out for coffee and then you and your friend’s mom will meet for dinner and before you know it you and your...
facts
FACT: People I have never met post pictures of themselves on Tumblr and I eat it up. FACT: People I have actually met post pictures of themselves on Facebook and I cannot be bothered to click the mouse. FACT: Actual family members invite me over to look at pictures of themselves and OH FUCKING CHRIST KILL ME NOW.
Watchseoulbrother:
Re-Creation on Vimeo (via Vimeo)
This shit gave me some fucking Schindler’s List level tears.
Why life is unfair.
lisarahmat:
ZERO stars.
27 stars. And counting. Guess why I’m not one of them? That’s right. BECAUSE I SHOULD BE THE ONE DRINKING STARBUCKS.
Sadface.
Don’t you hate it when you make a joke and you find out someone has already made it almost IDENTICALLY.
Whatever you do, don’t do an obsessive online search for every possible variant of every joke you ever have or ever will...
Things I have done because of @sween.
insooutso:
- Blinked 2194 times. - Swallowed excess saliva 28 times. Getting progressively worse. - Taken an even amount of steps with both left and right feet. - Chewed an even amount bites of food, 10 chews per bite. - Noticed that the date 3-27-09 can actually be turned into a math equation. - Made sure my keyboard is completely parallel to my laptop. Thanks.
For God’s sake, don’t...
irony
Yesterday morning I went onto Facebook for the first time in a month. The first thing I read was a status update from a junior high school classmate where he said Twitter is a waste of time, followed by a swath of comments from his friends also saying Twitter is a waste of time.
So I tweeted this:
“Irony is reading a conversation on Facebook about how Twitter is a waste of time.”
...
“Annie Colbert, a 26-year-old freelance writer from Chicago who is one of Mr....”
– NYTimes.com
FACT: Not actually “a coup”. Do not include on your resume. The terrorists will be over between 12:00 and 5:00 to hate you.
pro-tip
Feel shitty
Pick up cat
Sing song to cat*
Feel better!
* for full effect, replace all nouns with cat-related nouns.
Uptight
delgrosso:
Nothing ignites a “Fine, I’m taking my internet ball and going home” attitude quite like an insufferable pedant who takes joy in pointing out to you that you’re an unskilled hack who possesses less raw talent than the dead skin flakes he sheds off each day.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
8,760 hours
cleversimon:
There’s something I don’t get about anniversaries.
I get the celebration: we’re happy you’re alive, or married, or came to work for us; today’s as good a day as any to throw a party. And I get the commemoration: some things you want to remember, or need to remember, and it might as well be on the date they happened.
But there are things you don’t celebrate, don’t commemorate,...
No Good Answer
stuffparty:
sniffyjenkins:
luckyshirt:
inthefade:
delgrosso:
funsizebytes:
I hereby begin the canonical list of questions for which there are no good answers:
Which of these kids is boning my teenage daughter?
What kind of cancer do I have?
What is that sticky stuff that I just stepped in with my bare feet?
Adding:
Why does Mail.app hate me so much?
Who is in charge of...
jessabelle2o7:
ericaminton:
MEMESomewhere over...
Top Five Integers Smaller Than 6
1
2
3
-59020
4
Miscreants.
All of you.
zolora:
I wanted to see how well my phone...
giromide:
Wherein @sween and I continue our...
mah brain
I was thinking about how to construct a personalized license plate that read “I have to pee”. I got as far as “IHAF2P” when I realized it could be mistaken for “I have toupee”. And now men with wigs make me have to pee. Thanks, brain.
McSweeney's: Revised Corporate E-mail Signature. →
secretdark:
“I need catalysts: scars and failing, trying and falling, living and risking, making the wrong move for love, starting down a long road actually headed toward something, facing the blank page, noticing some kind of detail besides changes in my skin and face.”
Yes.